Important message for those suffering right now.

Todays blog is for the people that are having a tough time right now. Some people reading this might say to themselves "no one understands me" or think no one can relate to me. But you will be shocked to find out that more people can relate to you than you think. Some people just hide how they feel. On the outside they might seem like the happiest person but on the inside they are really struggling and trying to act like nothing is wrong. If everyone was honest about how we felt you would find out that a lot of people you know are going through the same things you're going through. What I think is that some people are afraid to express how they really feel because they are afraid of what people would say about them. Especially men because we don't want to be precieved as weak. So we have to act tough even though we might be struggling. No one wants to be the first to say that they are sad. But I bet if you shared how you felt with a friend or family member they would be like "I've been through some of the same things you're talking about".

But for those of you that are afraid to tell someone at this moment just remember this; this bad time in your life will pass and things will get better. I've been there before where I thought I was going to stay depressed and had no hope, now I see the brighter side of life and have a lot of hope. You just have to let it take it's toll. But if you do feel suicidal please tell someone or check yourself into the hospital. YOUR LIFE IS IMPORTANT AND YOU DO MATTER! PEOPLE DO CARE ABOUT YOU! 

The holidays are the toughest time for some people cause it's normally spent with family and loved ones. Some people actually go to the hospital when the season changes. Some people suffer from seasonal depression. And also I've been in the hospital during christmas and it's actually really empty. I asked the staff why that was and they said "people want to spend time with their family during this time" and that they have a spike of admission at the beginning of the year. I guess it's some peoples new years resolution. 

Anyways thank you for reading this blog. I hope you enjoyed it. And just remember THE BAD TIMES WILL PASS. If you like what you read please hit the follow button and leave a comment about what you thought of the blog. And make sure to keep an eye out for my next one coming soon. Thanks again for reading and happy holidays! 

2 lessons I learned my 1st year sober!

 Hello everybody! I hope everybody is doing good today. Today I'm going to share with you 2 leasons I learned in my first year of sobriety. Before I begin this blog will talk about religion some. 

The first lesson I learned is (there is no one to blame for my addiction or where I'm at now but myself)! When I first got sober I was making excuses for myself and blaming everyone else for where I'm at right now but myself. It's no ones fault that I didn't have a job at the beginning of the year and that I'm now doing any job i can find. This year I've done manual labor and deliveries. Some of the jobs I've been doing wouldn't be most peoples first choices but I have to do what I have to do to make money. This year I probably worked the hardest I've worked in my life. When doing brick laying I'm lifting thousands of pounds a day but I dug myself into this hole and it's my responsibility to do whatever I can to get myself out of it. It's no ones fault but myself that I made myself unemployable. I would say to god all the time "why me?" "Why did I have to end up like this?". The thing is though it didn't have to end up like this. I could've just not done drugs to begin with and I might have had a better job or didn't burn bridges with people. But I made the decision to do drugs. No one forced me. I could've said NO when I was asked the first time but I didn't. 

The second lesson I learned is that "god doesn't put obstacles in your life that you can't overcome". I realized I've overcome more than most have in their life. I've survived 2 comas and overdoses and I'm still alive. I've gone from have no job to working. What I started thinking was that god only puts obstacles in your life that he knows you can handle. If he knew I couldn't handle 2 comas, addiction and being jobless he wouldn't have put these things in front of me to overcome. All of these have made me a better person and shows that I can overcome just about anything. AND SO CAN YOU!!!

Well that's a really long blog so I'll make this short. Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed it. Make sure to hit the follow button and leave a comment of what you thought of the blog. And keep an eye out for my next blog. 

Thank you for reading and have a great day!

How you were raised and your mindset now!

 I'm sure when everyone was younger they heard their parents say "you can do anything you want if you set your mind to it" (realistically though). But is that really true? I'm sure when you're small they may have been more inclined to help you reach your goal but what about as you got older? Were they still supportive of everything you do or are they more pessimistic? 

As you get older your parents mindset might rub off on you. Lets say you tell your parents you want to take up martial arts; and they tell you that you're too old for that. That's more of a pessimistic answer to the question due to the fact I'm sure people even in their 30s and 40s still practice martial arts. And lets say that wasn't the first time they shut down an idea of yours. After all those times I'm sure you start to doubt your ability to do something because you were brought up to be more pessimistic then optimistic. If your parents keep telling you that you can't do something, soon you will start to believe that also. Why? Because you were told several times growing up that things weren't possible. Anyone can do anything that involves studying and practicing. Like just because you're not 6'6" doesn't mean you can't be really good at basketball or play basketball.  It just means if you're 5'10" you will have to work harder at it then someone that's 6'4" would. 

Anything you can practice at you can be good at. And sometimes we just have to learn we can't do something for ourselves. 

Pretty much the point is don't let someone else decide what you can and cannot do. You are the only one that can make that decision. 

That's all I have for today. Make sure to hit that follow button and lookout for my next blog coming soon to a electronic device near you! Also feel free to comment on anything or email me. Thanks for reading and have a great day and be safe. JUST REMEMBER TO STAY MOTIVATED!!

Grieving over a lost loved one.

 Everyone in their life deals with a loved one passing away or a friend that they were close to. And everyone grieves in their own ways. Some might isolate themselves from everyone for a while and become very depressed or they may do things to take their mind off the person they lost. With me I decided to numb myself with drugs and alcohol. Now I did use before I lost a loved one but I had it more under control at the time. Then once I lost my grandfather that was when I had my first overdose. I didn't know how to grieve over the loss and decided that I didn't want to feel anything at all, so I began drinking more and using drugs more. It took me 6 years to start grieving the right way over my grandfathers death instead of numbing myself with drugs and alcohol. 

Losing someone can take a huge toll on a person and can totally change their life. Before I lost my grandpa I was doing good and was able to hold down a job and wasn't drinking or using drugs as much. After his death I was jumping from job to job and have had multiple overdoses. 

Now since I've started grieving the right way over his death I will be 1 year sober on November 26th. I am working on saving money and am doing side jobs such as uber and also have been helping people out doing home repairs and construction. I feel like all of these have been helping me with my discipline. And doing repairs and construction have taught me a lot about life and that there is multiple ways to do something and that you need to do things slow and make sure everything is right. 

In conclusion people grieve in different ways but drugs shouldn't be the way to go cause I know now that my grandfather wouldn't have wanted me to do drugs because he died. Also there's no limit on how long you can grieve over someones death. It took me 6 years to actually start grieving the right way over my grandfather instead of using drugs and alcohol to numb myself. 

If you've made it to the end thank you for reading this. I hope you enjoyed it and learned something from my story. Also if you like what you read please hit the follow button and show your support and that all of us are in this together. Also feel free to comment or ask a question and I'll get back to you as quick as I can. That's again for reading and have a great day and be safe. 

Difference between being alive and living.

Hello everybody! Today I'm going to tell you my opinion of being "alive" and "living". 

In my opinion being "alive" is exactly what it sounds like you're alive. You have a pulse and are walking around but you're not really living. You're just doing the bare minimum to survive and make it to the next day. You're not pushing yourself and living up to what you know you're capeable of doing. You put yourself in this safe bubble and stick to the same boring schedule everyday and don't push yourself out of your comfort zone.  Whether you're afraid to or just don't want to go out of your comfort zone; it's just a choice you make. Only you know the reason why you don't want to push yourself and live your best life. 

Now when you're "living" you're getting out of your comfort zone and trying new things and learning new things. You may feel uncomfortable at times but you learn how to cope with things. It may take some time to learn but once you do you start to have more confidence and feel happy about your progress. I know almost everyone had heard the phrase "live and learn" well that pretty much explains everything. You learn through living. If you are just "alive" and don't get out of your comfort zone you will near learn anything new. 

If you have made it this far I want you to try something this week. I want you to get out of your comfort zone and try something new and just see if you like it. If you do then it might be something you'll want to do again and if you don't like it then you learned you really don't like it and don't have to do it again.  The point of this is to try something or do something that you've never done before and see what it's like to try something that's not in your comfort zone. 

Well this is the end. Thank you for reading. And if you liked what you read hit the follow button and show your support. If you're on a mobile device and want to follow scroll to the bottom and hit "desktop view" and you can hit follow there. Also feel free to comment and I will answer any questions. Thank you again for your time and have a great weekend and be safe. 

Instant gratification and addiction!

 Instant gratification is doing something and expecting something instantly. Like getting  clean and instantly having one year sober. Things don't work that way even though that would be nice lol. It's something you have to work for. And getting clean has taught me a lot about myself. Before getting clean I had a hard time working towards things (like saving money) and if I didn't see the result I wanted instantly; I gave up. But if I was to do that with my sobriety I'd never get clean because it's a lifestyle change and I didn't become 10 months clean overnight. It's something that takes time to see results and the bigger picture.  

Getting clean has taught me to be patient in life and that things will change if you give it enough time. 

Some advice I can give you is to set smaller goals to get you to the overall goal you want to reach. For example if your goal is to be 6 months sober set a smaller goal to like a week and then keep moving it up from there. If you set smaller goals it makes it easier to work towards your bigger goal and you get satisfaction from reaching that smaller goal and will make you motivated to keep going. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. If you like what you read please hit the follow button. If you're on a mobile device and want to follow; scroll to the bottom and hit desktop view and you can hit follow there. Also if you have any questions feel free to comment and I'll get back to you. I hope everyone has a great day and are working towards their goals and succeed. Thanks again for reading and have a great day and be safe!

When to consider rehab?

 Today I'm going to discuss when to consider rehab. 

If drugs and alcohol have taken over your life and has affected your work, relationships and finances and you feel you can't get clean on your own it's probably time to consider rehab. 

When going to rehab you need to go for yourself and no one else. If you're getting clean cause your parents or loved ones want you to chances are you will not stay clean for long. The only reason I'm saying this is because you have to want it for yourself. If you're invested in your own recovery you take it more serious and are motivated to change. I was forced to go to rehab twice and when I got out I didn't stay clean long. The most clean time I've had over the past 10 years before recently was probably 7 months. Also I've known people on probation that still used knowing they were going to be drug tested. It just shows that they weren't really wanting to quit and were forced to try and stay clean for legal reasons. Or people that stay clean through probation but use right when they got off. Also I was getting drug tested by my psychiatrist and was still using. I researched online to see how long it would take for a certain drug to get out of my system. I actually passed the test once or twice but then failed the rest.

An overdose never scared me from using. I overdosed on my birthday and a week later I was using again. It wasn't till I wanted to quit that I did. I didn't even have to go to rehab to quit. I just had enough of that life and was motivated to change. I've been clean since 11/25/2019. To say it has been an easy journey would be a lie. I've struggled on a daily basis. My cravings have been bad and I've wanted to use but I have too much invested now and am proud of how far I've come and don't want to go back. Once you have that mindset you know that you can do it. 

So to end things if you feel like drugs or alcohol have taken over your life and you want to get help go online and look at rehabs and give one of them or multiple of them a call. YOU ARE WORTH IT! IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO MAKE A CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE! 

And if you're already sober and know someone that is still suffering ask them if they are ok. Who knows they might tell you that they want to go to rehab. 

If you made it this far thank you for reading. I hope you got something out of it. And if you want share this on your Facebook or another group. Also if you like what you read make sure to hit the follow button. And if your on a mobile device scroll to the bottom and hit desktop view and you can hit follow there. Lets show everyone support and know that they are not alone.  Have a great day and be safe!

TMS treatment!

If medication isn't working for your depression see if your psychiatrists office does TMS. Or see if they can reffer you to a place that does it. What is TMS? Well it stands for transcranial magnetic stimulation. Doing TMS is suppose to help with depression when antidepressants don't work. I know this sounds scary but it really isn't. It's just a little uncomfortable. 

What they do is place a helmet that is hooked up to a machine on your head and every 20 seconds a thing in the helmet will tap your head 3-4 times. It feels and sounds like a woodpecker tapping your head. It doesn't necessarily hurt it's just an uncomfortable feeling. You do eventually get use to it though.

You do 36 treatments overall over the span of 7 weeks. You will go everyday except for Saturday and Sunday. The treatment is only 20 minutes each day. The first treatment though is 40 minutes due to the fact they have to map out the area on your head that they are trying to target. I guess everyone is different in that sense. Also the guy running it said the first weekend I might be a little depressed due to the fact I just started and going 2 days without it might make me depressed. I didn't have that problem though. 

Before you start they will have to get approval from your insurance to see if your insurance will cover the treatments. I would reccomend doing this after you meet your deductable for the year cause it is a bit costly since you will have a co-pay each time you go. Or you can see if your psychiatrist office can work out a payment plan for you so you don't feel overwhelmed by the cost. 

Overall I would reccomend doing this if you suffer from depression and medicine won't work for you. It really helped me a lot. The only downside I saw from this was it took about an hour and a half out of my day. That includes driving there, waiting to get called, doing the treatment and driving home. So if you work this might not be a good treatment for you. 

So in conclusion if you suffer from depression and medication isn't working for you ask your psychiatrist if he does TMS or knows someone that does TMS. You will be happy with the results. 

If you made it to the end thank you for reading and if you like what you read please hit the follow button to show your support. If you're on a mobile device scroll to the bottom and hit desktop view and you can hit follow there. I would really appreciate it if you would follow this blog. We can all support each other. Also if you ever need someone to talk to or someone that will listen to you feel free to email me. My email should be on my profile page. Thanks again for reading and have a great day! And be safe!

The aftermath of addiction and depression.

 Hello eveyone! Today I'm going to talk about getting better and the aftermath it may bring. 

When we were in our addiction or illness we never lived a balanced life. 

In our addiction all we cared about was getting high and that's it. We would go to any means to get the money to use. We would cut off friendships, relationships and hobbies. All we cared about was using. And when we finally do get clean we want a support system and when we go back to our old friends sometimes they aren't as welcoming back as we would expect. You have to build back the trust in the relationship. In time that happens you just have to be patient. After all we did put our addiction in front of everyone. Some friendships may never be fixed but maybe that happenes for a reason. You can use your past friendships to learn what not to do when you make new friends. 

With mental illness we sometimes isolate ourselves from everyone who cares about us and wants to be our friends and give up on our passions. We don't mean to do this on purpose. When we are depressed we don't see the perspective or the toll it takes on people we isolate or push away. And for the people we push away and isolate from it's not your fault. When people are depressed the easiest tasks become the hardest ones to do. For example getting out of bed when you have depression is like someone climbing mount Everest. Sometimes depression can take a long time to go away but it eventually does. Sometimes you have to push yourself not to isolate to get out of the depression. 

In time we ALL do RECOVER! It just takes time. 

And for the people that don't suffer from any addiction or illness and  have a friend that you haven't seen in a while it might be cause they are depressed check up on them and see how they are doing and let them know that you are there for them.  Or if you  have a friend who is addicted to something and haven't seen them in a while check up on them and see how they are doing and ask them if they need help getting help. You never know you might save someones life. 

Anyways thank you for taking the time to read this i really appreciate it. If you like what you read hit the follow button to show your support and show other people they aren't alone. If you're on a mobile device scroll to the bottom of the page and hit desktop view and you can hit follow on there. I want all of us to be supportive of each other. If you'd like share this post on your page to spread awareness. Also if anyone needs to talk you can email me. I'm here for all that want to talk. Even if it's random I'm hear. My email is on my profile. Again thank you for reading and have a great night and be safe!

Common stereotypes of addicts.

 When some people think of a drug addict they think of someone who steals to get their drugs, someone who can't hold down a job and a junkie. I'm about to shed some light on all of this. 

Let's start with the stealing part. Do some drug addicts steal? Yes they do but not all of them do. I never had to steal to get money for drugs I always had money. But if something goes missing we are the first ones they go to. Here's an example. My mom had some jewelry that she couldn't find one day and she asked me if I took and I replied "no I didn't take your jewelry". But just because I'm an addict in recovery she instantly thinks I stole it to get drugs. I told my sponsor about it and he said "you're an addict and you're going to get asked that question if things come up missing or are lost". I understand where he's coming from but it doesn't make it any better. 

Next is an addict can't hold down a job. In the beginning of my addiction I was able to hold down a job and no one suspected I was using. It came to a surprise to my boss when I told him I had to quit the first time to go to detox. After getting out they were kind enough to let me come back to work but that didn't last long due to a couple of months later I had my first overdose. After that I would work a couple of months then overdosed again. I'm not a good example for this stereotype lol as in the end I couldn't hold down a job. But they are people out there who do hold down jobs and no one suspects them of using. 

And the last one drug addicts are junkies. When you think of junkies you probably think of someone strung out, haven't showered in a couple of weeks, wearing the same clothes for a week and if you're a male having a shaggy beard. While this might be true for some addicts it's not true for everyone. When I shared my story the first time I had people comment that they never suspected that I was an addict. I hid it very well and was functional. A lot of people are like this. If you saw me walking you would never suspect it by the way I look. Addicts are good at hiding the truth about themselves. 

If you made it this far thank you for reading! Sorry I haven't written a blog in a while I've been busy but am going to try and write at least 1-2 a week. If you like what you read hit the follow button and if you're on a mobile device and want to follow scroll to the bottom of the page and hit desktop view and you can hit follow there. Also if anyone needs to talk I'm here for y'all. My email should be on my main profile. JUST REMEMBER WE DO RECOVER AND OUR ADDICTION DOESN'T DEFINE US! Let's break these stereotypes and prove everyone wrong about addiction! Thanks for reading and have a great day!

Your Core Beliefs!

 Core beliefs are how someone perceives themselves and thinks about themselves. For instance lets say I say the phrase "I'm ugly" even though no one has ever said that to me it's just how I think and is something I tell myself and believe is true when in reality it's not. Core beliefs are a hard thing to change in a person. You pretty much have to change your way of thinking. Instead of the glass being half empty it's half full. One way to try to change this is wording it differently. Like for example the phrase "I'm really fat" you can change that to "well I'm a little overweight". Honestly you're not going to look yourself in the mirror and say you're the sexiest guy alive. You have to start off small that a way you start to believe what you're saying. Core beliefs are a hard thing to change in a person cause you probably have had those thoughts and beliefs about yourself for a long time but if you wake up everyday and go to the mirror and say one thing you like about yourself each day it might start getting easier as time goes by. You can't change your beliefs overnight but you can gradually start to change them over time to make yourself feel better. We all are unique in our own individual way and there is at least one nice thing we can say to ourselves that is true. 

If you have negative core beliefs I want to challenge you this next week. When you wake up in the morning go to the mirror and say at least one nice thing about yourself. Just try and word it different if it's negative for example if you think you're a failure you can go to the mirror and say "well I was able to do one thing right" or you can say "I'm not a failure all the time". That is still a little negative but it's also a little positive and a step in the right direction. 

If you read all of this thank you for reading. Also if you like what you read please feel free to hit the follow button. If you're on a mobile device you can scroll to the bottom and hit desktop view or web page view and hit follow there. Also feel free to share this with as many people as you want to. If you're wanting to talk my email is on my profile page feel free to messaged me and we can talk. Have a great day and be safe everyone. 

Going to a psychiatric hospital in 2020.

 With everything going on right now some people might be wondering what it's like to go to a psychiatric hospital. Well here is some information about it. 

When you enter to get admitted if you have a temperature they will not admit you to the hospital. Also they will check your temperature every morning to make sure you still do not have one (even though if you are asymptomatic you will not show any symptoms). 

They do required you to wear a mask as much as possible even though at some times people do not wear one. Mainly we just wore them to the cafeteria but once in there we took them off to eat then put them back on to leave. Also they will give you a new mask every morning in your room so you don't have to wear the same one everyday. And the staff wears a mask and a face shield at all times.

Due to being in such a small space there really was no room to social distance. Also they normally clean all the furniture at night. 

Also if you are transferring to a longer term facility they will do a covid test on you to make sure that you don't have it. 

But really from my experience the place I went to nothing much had changed other than wearing a mask to go to the cafeteria and in the hallway and also the staff having to wear masks at all times. Other places might be different though that was just what I saw. I asked the staff if people stopped coming due to all of this and they said at first that were pretty empty but once things started to reopen they got real busy. Actually the place I went to was full at one time and they had to find another place for them to go or put them on a waiting list. 

If you made it this far thank you for reading. This was just what I saw at the place I went to. I live in Texas so it might be different everywhere else. If you like what you read please hit the follow button. If you are on a mobile device you can scroll to the bottom of the page and hit view web version and hit follow there. Also I'm here for anyone who wants to talk. You can email me. Thanks for reading and have a great day and be safe!

How television can sometimes trigger you!

This blog will be about how television can sometimes trigger you into using drugs. I know this sounds stupid but hopefully once you read this it will make sense. 

There are some shows on TV that can trigger you to use drugs. For instance the show "Drugs Inc". It's pretty much a show that tells you about different drugs and the cities where they are the most. I believe there's one about almost every drug. They even have images of the drugs which to me triggers me. When I see the drugs I use to use on the television it makes me think of the time when I was using and makes me have cravings. 

Another show is on vice called "Hamilton's pharmacopeia". Where he travels the world trying all sorts of different drugs "unlike the normal street drugs". Like one episode he did on a poisonous frog where if you pricked yourself with the poison of the frog it would make you hallucinate. Even though most of us don't have access to these drugs it can still make us think about using drugs that we have access to. 

The last one I don't believe is still on TV but it was on VH1. It was called "The Drug Years". This show showed the history of drugs in America and the affects it had on us. Such as LSD. They did testing on soldiers back in the day and have them take LSD and watched what would happen to them. Also it showed that MDMA use to be used as an antidepressant and was legal in the 90s. The show was very descriptive and showed all the drugs. 

Now I'm sure there are more TV shows out there that talk about drugs these are just some of that ones I've seen. 

If you are newly sober or trying to stay sober and get triggered easily I'd suggest staying away from these shows due to the fact that they actually show the drugs on there. 

Well if you made it this far thank you for reading. Also if you liked what you read please hit the follow button and if you are on a mobile device and want to follow scroll down and hit web page view and hit follow there. Also if anyone wants to talk my email is on my profile. I'm here for anyone who wants to talk whether you have any questions or just need someone to talk to I'm here for y'all. Lookout for my next blog coming soon. Thanks for reading and have a great day and be safe!

Breaking the stigma of addiction!

When some people think of a drug addict they think of someone who steals and can't hold a job down. All be it some of us do that but that's not every drug addict. I never had to steal to get my drugs. Although I did have to quit my job twice to go to rehab but after I finished up they were kind enough to rehire me back. But I did get high and go to work sometimes. But it didn't affect my work ethic. Addicts never started off stealing to get their drugs it just got to the point where they either had to steal or get dope sick. Some addicts resorted to selling drugs or prostitution but yet again they didn't start out like that. They had to do what they had to do. Many addicts are functioning addicts and you would never guess they were an addict till they told you. That was what I was. No one ever knew about me using drugs until I told them I needed help. Some people think the worst when they think of drug addicts but they don't think of the reason why we use. Most of us use because we want to feel something else other than the feelings we have when we are sober. Or we don't want to feel anything at all. If you think about it most of us have the same reason for using and that's we don't want to feel the way we are feeling right now. We want to escape reality. Some use cause a loved one of ours passed that we truly loved and cared about (that was my situation). After my grandpa passed I wanted to escape reality and forget about him dying. 

So for the people that are not addicts you need to think of what we might be going through that leads us to that drink, pipe, line, needle or pills. Because this was the only way we saw to go to escape the way we were feeling at the time. 

Well thank you for reading this if you made it this far. If you liked what you read please hit the follow button. And if you're on a mobile device scroll to the bottom and hit web page view and hit the follow button that way. Let's show everyone that no one is allowed in this battle and that we're all here for each other. Also if anyone needs to talk please feel free to email me. I have a lot of experience in mental health and drug addiction and am willing to share my information with anyone that wants me to. Also if you just want to talk I'm here for you also. Thank you for reading and have a great day and be safe! 

And remember you can recover!

Breaking the stigma of mental illness!

When some people think of mental illness they may picture someone in the corner of the room, eyes bugged out and rocking back and forth. Some may think of mass shooters due to the fact that all of them that have been detained plead not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect. But that's a bit extreme. Also when people think of a psychiatric hospital some people think of a padded room or straight jackets. I've only been in one hospital that used straight jackets and that was over 14 years ago. Although one time I was in a psychiatric hospital and one of the guys said he told his mom he was going to one and she was worried cause she thought it would be like the one in the movie "One flew over the cuckoo's nest". Which might have been true 30 or 40 years ago but not today. Today psychiatric hospital are very nice and the staff are very helpful. Some people are scared of people with mental illness especially people with schizophrenia because they are unpredictable. I've been around people with this disease and let me tell you these are some of the nicest people on this earth. They are also some of the smartest as well. Only when triggered by something someone says or does do that become agitated and they only do that to protect themselves. 10% of the worlds population suffers from some kind of mental health issue whether it be depression or bipolar. That's about 700 million. Some people may be suffering and you wouldn't even know it. We shouldn't let this stigma define who we are as a human being. We should all come together and support each other and let everyone know that they are not alone in this battle. 

If you made it to the end thank you for reading. If you liked what you read please hit the follow button. If you're on a mobile device scroll down to the bottom and hit web page view and then you can hit follow there. Just remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS BATTLE. Let's prove everyone wrong! When people think of mental illness now let's make them think of strong human beings who can do anything. Thanks again for reading and have a great day and be safe. And again remember. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS BATTLE. I'm here if anyone wants to talk. You can comment or email me. My email is on my profile page. I'm here for anyone who wants to talk. 

Jobs you can do if you suffer from a mental illness.

For people that have a mental illness sometimes it's hard for us to hold down jobs. Whether it's we're too depressed or anxious to go to work or our job let's us go due to us going to the psychiatric hospital too much. It can be very stressful on us. Also it can stress us out that we don't have a job. If you're in this position I hope what I'm about to say helps you. 

First before I get to it. If you do have a hard time holding down a job due to mental illness you may qualify for social security disability. I have an earlier blog I wrote that explains the process of getting that. Now back to the blog. 

Back in January I didn't have a job so I did some research.  Here are a couple of jobs you could do it you suffer from mental illness or are just looking for a job.  

These are jobs you can do where you'll be your own boss and you work when you want to work. 

What I did was find an app called favor. Favor is a delivery service. What it is once you download the app and sign up you can go pick up a card or have it mailed to you. The best part is you create your own schedule and work when you want to. Once you get your card you active it and turn on the app and you start getting calls to go to restaurants or grocery stores and pickup things for people. For example let's say I get one for chick fil a. I hit accept favor and then I head up to chick fil a and order the food, pay for it with the card they give me and deliver the food to the person's house. You get an automatic $2.10 for delivering it plus at least a $2 tip for your services. The tip can be more though. I've gotten a $15 tip before for one delivery. Note this is only for people that are in certain areas of Texas. Don't worry I will be listing other jobs for people that aren't in Texas. Also with favor make sure to keep all your receipts for your taxes next year. 

Another one I've signed up for is doordash. With doordash you sign up for the app. With this one there's no wait time for a card. Even though they do send you a red card but before you get it you're still able to make deliveries. This is the same as favor. You turn on to dash and start getting notifications for orders to pickup. The best part about doordash is that the order is already ready when you get to the restaurant. That means you don't have to place it like you do with favor. With doordash it shows you the tip you will get at the beginning and how many miles overall you will have to drive to the restaurant and to the customers house. This one can be less stressful than doing favor. Also the pay is better on this one. With this one you also make your own schedule and work when you want to. 

The last one is Uber eats. I just recently signed up for this one and have only been doing it for a couple of weeks. It's the same concept as doordash. You turn it on and once you get a notification you go to the place. The order should already be ready and you pick it up. Then you take it to the customers house. Again with this one you make your own schedule and work when you want to work. 

From my experience of doing this it takes a lot of stress off of me due to the fact that I'm my own boss and set my own schedule and don't have to worry about getting fired. The only way you can get fired from these jobs is when they deactivate you due to not delivering someone's food. 

Also with these jobs you will need to fill out and submit a background check with them. It only takes a couple of days to get back. 

Just to note that on doordash and Uber eats you can get 2 orders at the same time if they are both on the way to each other. You are able to decide one if that's too much for you.  Also you may be thinking "I can't support myself doing this"? Well if you put in the hours you can. I'm apart of some doordash Facebook groups and see people talking about make over $1,200 in a week. It just takes time and motivation. 

If you made it to the end thank you for reading. I hope this was helpful and could take some stress off of you. You don't have to do these full time if you don't want to. You can do them just till you find a regular job. These are just some jobs to make some money and ween you back info working if you haven't worked in a while. If you like what you read please hit the follow button. If you're on a mobile device just scroll to the bottom and hit web page view and then hit follow. Lookout for my next blog. It will be coming out real soon. Thanks for reading! Have a great day and stay safe everyone!!

In the event of a relapse.

Unfortunately relapse is inevitable for some of us addicts. Most of us try and quit whether it's getting help at a rehab or quitting on our own. Either way it doesn't workout for some of us on our first go around. A counselor at a rehab one told me sometime people go to rehab like 3 or 4 times before we get it right. Also let's say you're going to rehab because someone else wants you to go. It could be your parents, siblings or a significant other. Normally going to rehab because someone else wants you to isn't the best option. Normally those people will relapse within a year due to the fact that you have to be doing it for yourself. If you do not want the help it normally doesn't work. For example I've gone to a few rehabs because other people wanted me to. It wasn't until I wanted the help that I actually started trying my hardest to get clean. Yes after I wanted to get the help I did relapse but it made me feel even worse when I did relapse that time. If you relapsed and something in your head tells you that you shouldn't be doing this then you're on the right track to recovery. In the event of a relapse you shouldn't beat yourself up. We maybe just thought that we could use in moderation or I can use just this one time and be fine. I've said both of those numerous times to myself. Let's say you're doing good and have been sober for a month and end up relapsing. Don't beat yourself up over it. Think of it this way " I was able to make it a whole month without using". If you were able to make it a month that just proves to yourself that you do have the strength to do this. If you were going to meetings and then relapse don't be afraid to go back because you think you let everyone down. Go back to the meeting and share that you relapsed. You will see how much support you have there from everyone. No one judges you just because you messed up. All of us have been there. The best advice I can give you when you relapse is go to a mirror and look at yourself in it and tell yourself "I can do this! I will not let drugs or alcohol win and take over my life again!". Just because we relapsed doesn't mean we have to go back to that life again. We all deserve to be sober. We shouldn't look at ourselves as failures. I was clean for a year and ended up using again. I felt so down and ashamed of myself and I continued to use. It wasn't until I broke down in front of my therapy group that I realized I deserve to be clean and sober. All of us deserve this chance. Just remember it takes one day at a time. Don't look at the big picture just wake up every morning and tell yourself  " I  will just be sober for today". If you just take it day by day those days start to add up and you will soon have  30 days then 60 days then 90 days and before you know it you'll have an entire year. 

In conclusion just take it one day at a time. Every morning just wake up and say "I will not use today!". I wake up and tell myself that every morning and now I'm 7 months sober. 

Sorry for the long blog. If you read all of this thank you. If you like what you read and want to get notified of upcoming blogs hit the follow button. If you're on a mobile device just scroll to the bottom of the page and hit"view web version". Then you can hit the follow button. And if anyone needs to talk my email is on my profile page. I'm here for everyone. I will listen and try to help any way possible. Thanks again for reading and have a great day and be safe. AND REMEMBER YOU'RE WORTH IT!

Some good songs about addiction!

Hello everyone! I hope everyone is doing good today! Today I'm going to be going over a couple of songs that are about addiction. Unfortunately the people on this list still use drugs and one has died from them. But if you listen to these songs they tell a story that is worth listening to. Also all of these songs are in the rap genre

First on the list is a song from Chris Webby. The song is "Chemically Imbalanced". Right at the intro you can tell it's about addiction by his opening lyrics "I'm on the edge, one step and I'll be over unless I take those 12 steps aimed at gettin sober". The song tells the story of how people can get addicted and the life they live through addiction. There are a lot of other good quotes from the song I can list but it'll make this blog really long lol. This song is definitely a must listen to. Unfortunately he still smoke weed and takes Adderall. 

Next song is probably the best on the list by far and it's from artist MGK (machine gun Kelly). The song is "Lead you on". I think this song might only be on YouTube. The song is about his addiction to heroine and what he went through while on it. I'm only going to put this part of the song in here cause it might be triggering to some people to put other parts. But in the song he said " I gave up everything for you". That hits home cause when we are in addiction we give up everything for our drugs. As of today as far as I know MGK is sober from heroine but still smoke weed.  

And the last song. Even though the one before this was the best song about addiction. I'm putting this one last cause I looked up to this artist and he is still my favorite artist of all time. And that is Mac Miller. His song "Weekend ft. Miguel". I just heard this song recently and this was my interpretation of the song. Now the song isn't fully about addiction but a couple of lyrics spoke to me and here they are. The beginning of the song starts off like this "I got a little bit of money filling my pockets, roll around  like I run this shit, I got a system filled up with toxins, I been broken hearted and I was fuck that bitch, getting high to deal with my problems." Pretty much a good percentage of us addicts get high to deal with our problems. Also the last lyric from the song I'm going to put in is this " wonderin how I got this high, fell asleep and forgot to die". Now some people might not see this song as having to do with addiction. It's all how you perceive the lyrics. This is just how I perceived them. Unfortunately Mac is not with us here today. His addiction got the best of him. I've been listening to him for 10 years and he is an amazing artist. 

That concludes all the songs. If you read the entire thing thank you for reading. Also if you like what you're reading please hit the follow button on my homepage. If you're on a mobile device just scroll to the bottom and hit view web version and you will be able to hit follow there. Also I think I've fixed it to where everyone can comment now and if anyone needs to talk I'm here for everyone my email should be on my profile page. We can talk about anything you want to talk about. Anyways sorry for making a long blog I hope you enjoyed it. Have a nice day and lookout for another blog coming soon. 

Addiction replacement!

Addiction replacement is where you trade one addiction for another. For example let's say you get clean off drugs but then you start to get addicted to gambling that's addiction replacement. 

Here's a list of some of the things we replace our addiction with once we are off of drugs and alcohol. 

1.Eating- for some reason when some of us  are clean off of drugs and alcohol we have a sweet tooth and eat all the sugar we can to replace drugs. That's what happened to me. When I got clean I ate a lot of candy and drank a lot of sodas. 

2. Gambling- some of us resort to gambling because it gives us a rush like when we were on drugs. 

3. Sex- yet again it give us a rush as if we were using drugs again. I'm guilty of this one. 

4. Exercising- this is one that gets left out a lot cause some of us wouldn't expect it to happen. When going to rehab a lot of them have gyms or take you to the gym. We start working out and can't stop. 

5. Gaming- this one is also left out a lot also. I don't have much experience in this one due to the fact I'm not good and video games. But some people spend hours maybe even days in front of the TV or computer playing games ( sort of like the world of warcraft south park episode) 

This is just a list of some of the things we can trade our addiction for. I'm sure there's a lot more. Being an addict we are very susceptible to being addicted to anything that can take over our life. Even if it doesn't harm our body or could kill us. It is just best for us to do everything in moderation while we are in the early stages of our recovery. 

Thank you for reading this I hope it helped out and was informational. If you liked what you read hit the follow button. If you're on a mobile device and want to follow scroll to the bottom and hit desktop view and you should be able to hit the follow button then. If you have any questions feel free to email me. My email is on my profile. I'm here to talk to anyone who has any questions or someone who is just wanting to talk. 

Look out for my next blog it should be coming out sometime this week. Next time I will be going over songs that are about addiction. Again thank you for reading and have a great day and be safe! 

What to expect from electroconvulsive therapy!

If you suffer from severe depression and medicine doesn't work your psychiatrist might consider trying ECT as a last resort. I know some people may be scared of doing it but trust me it's worth it. It's not what you think you will be asleep for the entire procedure. It's nothing like in the movies where they put you on a board that turns over so you can vomit. It's quick and painless. Here are some things to know about the procedure. 

1. It is painless and very quick. The procedure takes about 5 minutes and then you're in recovery till you wake up from the anesthesia which wears off in like 40 minutes. 

2. You will need someone to accompany you to the procedure to drive you home since you probably will feel sleepy after waking up.  

3. You will only have to do 18 treatments. When I did it they had me come in every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. 

Once you're in the room they put a mouth guard in so you don't bite your tongue. Then they hook oxygen up to you. When all of that is complete they inject you with mother's milk to put you to sleep. It takes seconds for it to kick in and you're good to go. Next thing you know you're walking up. 

 

There is only really one side effect of the procedure and that's memory loss. Mainly just sort term. Your long term memory should return after quitting. I'm not sure about your short term memory though. Mine still hasn't returned. 

ECT was the best decision I ever made! It helped me out so much. My depression and anxiety went away within the first 6 treatments. Also if you are worried that it'll wear off and you will be in the same hole you were in before don't because it's been 4 years for me and I'm still doing great. Also if you want to you can go in every 6 weeks after you complete it for a maintenance treatment then that goes to every couple of months. 

In conclusion there is nothing to be scared of. The doctors know what they are doing and they won't let anything bad happen to you. So if you are suffering from severe depression and have tried all sorts of medication maybe mention to your psychiatrist about ECT it is a great treatment. 

If you have anymore questions feel free to comment or email me personally. Also you can comment and tell me what you'd like me to blog about next. I've been suffering from mental illness and have been on all sorts of medication since I was 12 and I'm 28 now so that's 16 years. Also if you like what you read hit the follow button on the home screen. And if you're on a mobile device you can scroll down to the bottom of the page and hit desktop view and hit follow on that page. Thanks for reading and lookout for more informational blogs coming soon. Take care and stay safe! Also I'm here for anyone who wants to talk. You can email me personally. Have a great night everyone!

2 awesome songs dealing with depression!

In an earlier blog I wrote about how some songs can trigger your addiction but today I'm going to talk about 2 songs dealing with depression. 

The first song is from the band Five Finger Death Punch and the song is called Coming Down. If you are into rock and have heard this song and you like it but haven't checked out their music video I'd suggest doing that! It is an amazing music video. It potrays 2 individuals a male and female struggling with depression and what they do to cope with it. In the video you see the female worrying about her weight (which males can do also) and her relationship with someone she likes ( which and also apply to men). It highlights the dark in relationships with people sharing private pictures that were only meant for the guy she's talking to and people commenting on the picture calling her name's. She copes with her depression by cutting herself and shows her trying to kill herself by taking pills. In the beginning of the music video it shows the male with a gun in front of his parents pulling the trigger. With the male it shows him getting bullied by other teens and having the feeling of being alone and no one to talk to. He copes by using drugs and drinking. In the video they both visit a chatroom having to do with suicide. The end of the video is absolutely amazing though with the female it showed the mom reading her texts and coming into her room to give her a big hug and she breaks down. And with the male it shows a friend of his inviting him to hangout. This just shows it only takes one person to listen and be there for someone to change their life. That video hits home for me a lot. I use to feel alone myself. 

For the second song it's by Mac Miller and it's called I Am Who Am (killin time). If you listen to the lyrics it says it all. It talks about so much and describe some of what was in his mind and what he went through. 

Sorry for such a long blog I guess there was more to talk about than I thought. It just shows that one person can make a difference or even save someone life. 

If you like reading my blogs you can hit the follow button. If you're viewing it on a phone and want to follow just scroll down and hit view in webpage mode. I will be coming out with another blog soon so look out for that. Thank you for reading and have a great day and stay safe!

Tips on dating someone with mental health issues.

This blog will be about exactly what the title says. I will be going over tips on dating someone with a mental illness starting all the way at the beginning. This may be a 2 part blog. Let's begin. 

1. If you know the person has a mental illness you might have to make the first move. "Why you ask?" Well most of us that suffer from depression have low have low self esteem. Meaning we feel like we are ugly and no one wants to be with us. It's very hard for us to make the first move cause we are afraid of rejection or what the other person is going to say. Also some of us have trouble reading people. We may feel like they are into us then find out that they are just really friendly. This happens a lot. That is why we are afraid to make the first move. 

2. Once you are dating each other sometimes theymthey ask you "why are you with me?" Those is not an insult to y'all or anything this just goes back to number one where we feel no one wants to be with us. 

3. Let's say y'all have been together for a while and one day y'all get into a fight and argue and they try and take a low shot at you saying " you stick and need to shower!" The person with the illness knows they need to shower but when you're depressed personal hygiene goes out they window and even the easiest tasks become the most difficult. You just have to watch out for signs of them being depressed and support them and not blast them. 

4. Also when fighting even if it's a small fight and you are over it. They may say to you"please don't breakup with me." We are just scared even about the smallest fights. The person with the illness may feel that you're the best thing that has ever happened to them and they don't want to lose you. 

5. Sometimes some  may think that your cheating on them when in reality you are not. That's just their insecurities showing and the longer that you're with them they eventually go away. 

6. Just go easy on them and give it time things will get better. There best thing for you to do is to be as supportive as possible and to show them that you are there for them. Once they have a bond with you we normally open up more to you and tell you things that they haven't told anyone else. 

It is tough dating someone with mental health issues sometimes but just know that we are caring and lucky to have you in our life. Who knows you may be able to help them with their low self esteem and insecurity issues by the end of everything just by being there for them and listening to them. Also if you're having a hard time we are they best people to be with due to the fact that we've gone through all sorts of obstacles in our life and we are always there to listen. 

Well I guess I only had to write one blog lol. If I left anything out you'd like me to talk about feel free to comment. Also if you like my blogs please hit the follow button it'll really help out a lot to show that there's other people that are going through the same thing as well. I know a lot of people don't want to hit the follow button due to the subject of the blogs and they don't want other people to know. 

Everyone have a great weekend and stay tuned for my next blog!

Music and how it can trigger your addiction!

Many people like listening to music. Lyrics are just words in a song. But to some people the lyrics can trigger your addiction. For example some rappers like singing about and glamorizing drugs. Take for instance my all time favorite rapper Mac Miller; most of his songs had to do with drugs. If a regular person listened to his songs they probably won't go out and try the drugs he's talking about in his songs but an addict would be like "Well if he is doing this I should try it also." Being in recovery from drugs it's hard for me to listen to any rapper talking about drugs. That goes the same for other singers. Another example Mickey avalon. Pretty much all of his songs are about doing drugs. I mean CA crack cocaine? What do you think that songs going to be about lol? For people that are early in recovery it might not be the best idea to listen to songs that have to do with drugs. That's just my opinion. 

Songs about recovering from addiction on the other hand are different like for instance a couple of rappers that sing about recovery are Chris Webby and MGK. Although both of them in sure still smoke weed. 

In conclusion; if you're still early in recovery and don't have a lot of self restraint try to lower the ways you can get triggered and see if that works. Even though you'd be cutting out some of your favorite artists. This past Monday I celebrated 6 months of sobriety. I still have a lifetime ahead of myself but it's a small step in the right direction. Everyone can get sober if they truly want to. I believe in everybody. 

I'm starting to write more blogs again so if you like what you read please hit the follow button it would really help show some support to the site. Look out for the next blog to come within the next week. Goodnight everybody!

Todays blog!! 1/17/2020

Hello everybody! Sorry I haven't made a blog in a couple of days my anxiety and depression is getting the best of me and have been trying to stay busy to combat it. Ended up getting a new phone and new number due to the new decade. Been working a lot and did a major clean up of my room and also moved some things around. Had my first doctor visit last Tuesday and it went well. He is weening me off of one of my antidepressants and going to put me on another one soon. He also gave me some meds for my anxiety too. Would have been a lot quicker at the doctors office if I knew I had to pee in a cup. Spent an hour drinking as much water as I could just to go to the bathroom.

Anyways for todays blog we will be going over once you're in the psychiatric hospital.

Once you're in the hospital you should make the best out of it. Chances are you will be there for about a week. You see a psychiatrist once a day for about 4 minutes so you should make the best of that and talk to him if something isn't working the way you feel it should. Note antidepressants normally take around 4-8 weeks to fully kick in and have a full affect on you so just be patient with those meds.

Next if you decide you don't want to be there any longer you can try to leave AMA or against medical advice. You will have to go to the nurses station and request one of those forms though. By law a psychiatrist has 24 hours to assess you and make a ruling if they need you to stay or not. But before you do all of that you will want to check with your insurance and see if they will cover the stay of those days you were there. Normally if you AMA the insurance won't cover your stay there so do check with your insurance first. If the doctor feels that you need to be there they will take you to court and you will have to talk to a court appointed psychiatrist and if they feel you need to stay there they can keep you in there for around 2 weeks as far as I know. Normally if you want to leave I'd suggest doing an AMA around 4 days in; that way it'll give you a better chance of getting out since you probably won't be suicidal at that time. Personally I've never done this before and wouldn't do it to begin with if I go to a hospital I want them to help me while I'm there instead of wasting my time wanting to go home.

Note for smokers if you smoke try and find a psychiatric hospital that isn't connected to a regular hospital due to the fact you probably won't be able to smoke at one of those. They do give patches out though if you're at one that doesn't allow smoking though.

In conclusion you're there to get better and get help. I'd suggest to go to all the groups you can and participate in your recovery. You deserve to get better and you are worth it!

When it’s time to go get help at a psychiatric hospital!

Here are some questions to ask yourself to know when it’s time to go to get help at a psychiatric

Have you been depressed for what seems like forever and it’s not getting any better?

Are you having thoughts to end your life on a daily basis?

Have you lost the will and drive to live?

Are you having thoughts of self harm?

Do you feel like you’re invincible? ( could be cause you’re manic?)

Do you have a problem with drugs or alcohol and want to stop?

If you are having any of these thoughts on a daily basis and don’t know what to do please and I mean please go to the nearest ER where they can find you a hospital to go to or go to the psychiatric hospital you normally go to! YOUR LIFE MATTERS! People do care about you even if you don’t think they do at the time. 

Read my next blog on what to expect when you go to a mental hospital and questions you should ask. 

If you are needing to apply for social security disability.

This is not for everyone only for certain people who may qualify. My brother had trouble leaving the house and couldn't hold a job so i suggested to him maybe he should apply for disability. I was with him through the whole experience.

If you are wanting to apply for disability you'll have to go to the social security office. Now with that in mind I suggest to get there an hour before they open due to the fact that there  will be a lot of people up there wanting to apply for something.

When they open you'll be assigned a number and asked to be seated until your number is called.
Once your number is called you will be assigned a social worker and they will ask you what you are wanting to do today. You will say you want to apply for SSI which is disability.

After saying that the process begins. Now I'm not going to lie this will be a long process and is not very easy.

The worker will ask you a lot of questions about your mental illness such as how many times you have been to a psychiatric hospital and the psychiatrist you have seen.. You will have to include numbers with these hospitals so they can confirm everything.

You will have to go back to the social security office a couple of times to complete the rest of the questions like how much your entire household makes and all of your assets. This will depict how much a month you will receive.

Once all the questions are asked it becomes a waiting game. The wait can be anywhere from 3-6 months.

At first he didn't receive it so he decided to hire a lawyer to help him with his case. He did not disclose to me if you lawyer was free or not though.

In the end the lawyer was able to fight and get him disability.

Now you don't start off with the entire disability at first they still have to finalize everything. But you will still get paid some though. What they will have you do if you are working is call in every 2 weeks and tell them how much you've made on that paycheck before taxes.  I'm not sure what they do if you don't have a job at the time but that is something you can ask when you find out if you have the disability.

 When you are on disability you can only make as much as they tell you that you can make. With him he could only make a $1,000 per month before taxes. Now if you do make more than that it is ok cause they will just adjust what you get for that month if you make more than the required amount.

After being on disability for 2 years you have the option to get medicare. They pay for that out of the money each month you make for disability. For example if you normally get $1,029 a month for disability if you sign up for medicare you may only get $921 a month for it. Which isn't bad at all for insurance.

The next step would be to get a secondary medicare plan to cover what the regular medicare may not cover. Last year he was able to find a secondary medicare plan for free but this year it's $15 a month which they will take out of your monthly disability check.

If you don't have a job at this point and are wanting one social security offers a workforce program you can sign up for where they will assist you in finding a job.

Now everyone may not apply for disability but if you have trouble holding a job due to your illness it doesn't hurt to try and apply for it. The worst they can say is say no.

I hope this article was informative on the subject of disability. If I left anything out feel free to comment and I will write another article with the stuff I missed.

Also if you like reading my articles feel free to hit the follow button on my page to show support for people who suffer from any illnesses.

You are not alone!

This entry will not have anything to do on a subject about mental illness and drug addiction but taking a stand and showing everyone who suffers from mental illness that they are not alone. A lot of us suffer from these terrible illnesses but don't want to admit it. Just cause you are following my blog doesn't mean you have a mental illness or drug addiction but you want to be informed on the subject. You may know someone who suffers from this and reading this blog can help you understand what they go through. I'm just trying to inform people about these illnesses since not a lot of people know about it. I am who I am and am not ashamed about it. Going through all of this has made me a stronger and smarter person. So feel free to click the follow button and show everyone who suffers from these illnesses are not alone!

How to pick the right therapist.

A counselor once told me taking only the medication won't help you all the way that you also have to be seeing a therapist as well as taking the medication.

Trying to find the right therapist is very challenging. You want to find someone you are compatible with and can open up to and trust. While doing this you could be spending a lot of money in the process. Some advice I can give you is to try to check out www.psychologytoday.com. Now before I go any further I am not getting paid by them for you using their services. This is just the site I use to find therapist for different situations.

When you go to this site you can filter out a therapist by your insurance, location, male of female, age and what you are going through such as trauma or depression. One tip I can give you before you schedule an appointment is see if they offer sample consultations. Sample consultations is where you can talk to the therapist before you actually see them. You can normally do this over the phone and it's normally 15 minutes to an hour. I am not completely confident if its free but it should be cheaper than actually making an appointment. So when you call to schedule an appointment ask if they do sample consultations. That a way you won't be wasting your time and money on someone you may only see once or twice.

Don't be discouraged if the first session doesn't go as you expect it to go it sometimes takes multiple sessions to see if you mesh well with them.

In my opinion if you are the one doing most of the talking you probably should find someone else. You want someone who gives you input on your situations. It also helps to find someone who goes through the same situations as well but I know that can be hard to find in one try.

Make sure you are comfortable with them and are able to open up about everything. Not just surface level stuff.

Going through therapy you're going to be talking about a lot of things that may be hard to talk about. If you are not in a safe mind space when you leave I would bring that up to them. They can give you some helpful coping skills to use to deal with the depression or anxiety.

Your situation isn't going to get better over night some people do therapy for years.

Also a funny fact I found out that some therapist have their own therapist they see themselves.

If you find what I have to say informative make sure to follow me. If you are viewing this from your phone scroll to the bottom of the page and click "view web version" then you will be able to follow me without logging onto your computer.

I'll be putting out another blog tomorrow. Until then have a good night!

Anxiety and what to expect from your psychiatrist including meds.

Everyone has anxiety and have different symptoms of it. With me my heart starts to race and I feel like I can't breath and my head feels like it's going to explode. Everyones anxiety is different and some of these pills may help you. Im just listing off the ones I have personally been on.

When telling your psychiatrist about your anxiety if they are a good doctor they won't automatically start you on a benzodiazepine like Atavan. First they will probably start you on something like Gabapentin which also goes by the name Neuraptine. This pill is mainly used to treat seizures and is also a nerve pain killer. They will probably start you off on 100mg-300mg and have you come back next visit to see if it has helped. If it hasn't helped they will gradually increase the dose. I believe the highest dose you can be put on is 1800mg. But be warned if they decide to take you off this med have them gradually reduce the dose cause if you stop it cold turkey you will go through withdraw symptoms including sweats, stomach pain and aches.

If that pill doesn't work they will put you on Propranolol which is a beta blocker and used to treat high blood pressure. The reason they put you on this is to help hide the symptoms of anxiety like a fast heart rate. Warning this is not a drug to abuse cause it can be fatal if taken at a high dose.

Another drug they can put you on is called Clonidine which is a sedative and a antihypertensive drug which also treats high blood pressure. I was not on this drug for long since the side effects were terrible. I was super constipated, had no sex drive and it gave me erectile dysfunction.

If none of these work their next move might be to put you on a drug called Buspirone or Buspar. This is one of the only non narcotic pills that is specifically meant to treat anxiety. I've heard this helps some people but it did not help me. They had me on the highest dose of it which is 90mg. I had no bad side effects from this drug and would recommend it to people with anxiety.

They can also put you on Seroquel for anxiety as well and you can read about those side effects in one of my earlier blogs.

Another med they can put you on is something called zydis which is also known as Zyprexa. But Zydis dissolves under the tongue and from what I remember tastes like cherries. Or you can take the pill Zyprexa for anxiety also. These pills do help with anxiety the only problem is they make you really drowsy. And at high enough doses Zyprexa can also increase your appetite and make you gain weight.

One drug they put me on cause they were so desperate to not put me on a benzo was Haloperidol also known as Haldol. This drug literally made me feel like a zombie and I would not recommend taking this drug at all.

Also your psychiatrist might try to put you on Hydroxyzine also known as Vistaril. This drug is an antihistamine which pretty much equates to Benadryl. This drug made my heart rate increase and was not a good match for me.

After exhausting all of these pills they finally decided to put me on Klonopin which is a benzo. Klonopin is a longer lasting slow acting benzo. It is good to take cause it can last anywhere from 4-6 hours. They will probably start you off at a low dose of it like .50mg once a day and gradually increase it if that doesn't work.

This is just my experience with anxiety. Everyones anxiety is different and at different levels. If you have found any of this informative make sure to follow me and stay tuned for my next blogs. I will try to put 1-2 out per day on the topic of mental illness and drug addiction.

The start of a new life: My first blog

The start of a new life: My first blog: Hello my name is Will. Im a 28 year old male dealing with mental illness and drug addiction. Over the period of this blog i will be going ov...

Disclaimer for mental illness and the beginning of my journey!

As a disclaimer I am not a professional on the topic of mental illness by any means. I have no schooling on the subject. But i have been experiencing it for the past 16 years now and i want to share my experiences on everything. I've taken many medications and have done some other treatments to deal with my illness.

When i was a kid I got picked on and bullied at school a lot. So much to the point that I didn't want to go to school. That is what started my depression. At the age of 12 I was first hospitalized at a hospital in Texas that is now closed. I was there for 10 days and during those 10 days we did a lot of therapy groups. We learned many coping skills also while in there. I'm not going to lie when I first got there I was terrified. To this day that is the only hospital that used straight jackets to calm the patients down that acted out.

After I got out I was doing ok. One of the side affects that I recently found out about the medication was that it can cause suicidal thoughts in children and young adults under the age of 24. If you are a parent reading this blog keep that in mind when you are putting your kid or teen on anti depressants. Another bad side affect was that my anger got really bad. I started lashing out at my parents and punching holes in the walls. I even kicked out a screen door. Though the anger spells did go away the longer I was on the medication. When I was younger I went through so many medications cause sometimes the ones that are working can all of a sudden stop working. It is important to be on the right mixture of meds.

At the age of 12 I was diagnosed as bipolar and they started me on mood stabilizers and antipsychotics. Later on in life I learned it is very hard to diagnose a 12 year old with bipolar. The symptoms normally start showing  around the age of 19.

My first blog

Hello my name is Will. Im a 28 year old male dealing with mental illness and drug addiction. Over the period of this blog i will be going over a lot of topics such as depression, anxiety, drug addiction, and if you absolutely need to get help I will tell you what it's like being in a mental hospital. I am doing this with no editing tools or help from anyone. I will also be going over medications and my experience on them.

Mental illness is something not a lot of people want to talk about but something everyone has questions about. Now a days mental illness is more acceptable today than it was back in the day.

I am not ashamed to admit that I am mentally ill and a recovering drug addict. I've already told my story of my addiction on my facebook page and got a lot of positive responses. Many of us suffer from mental illness but need someone to first admitting to having a mental illness before someone else can talk about it.

A little bit about myself. My first encounter in a psychiatric hospital was at age 12. I first tried to attempt suicide when I was 19. I took 500 100mg ibuprofen. I was in a comma for 2 days. They thought I would have permanent damage from this but after being in the hospital for a week and running numerous tests I had no damage to any organs. Then they sent me to a psychiatric hospital for a week. Over the years since then I've had numerous overdoses and have been in one other comma. Over all I've been in 7 different psychiatric hospitals and been hospitalized close to 20 times in my 28 years.

My drugs of choice were cocaine, hydros, oxy, xanax, x, acid and also weed. Along with being in many mental hospitals I've also been in 2 drug rehabs.

My next blog i will dive into being mentally ill as a kid. I will tell you about what my parents went through and what I went through.

Also if you want me to discuss my experience with anything that has to do with mental illness just comment and i will try and answer everyone.